If you’ve ever felt like life is just a bit too chaotic, Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos might be exactly what you’re looking for. Whether you’ve heard his name before or this is your first introduction, Peterson—a clinical psychologist, professor, and public thinker—has created a powerful set of guidelines that resonate with people around the world. His “12 Rules” aren’t just random tips. They’re principles aimed at helping people lead lives of integrity, responsibility, and resilience.
Let’s dive into these 12 rules and see what they’re all about. Whether you’re seeking wisdom or just a fresh perspective, these insights could just be the catalyst you need. Ready? Let’s explore each one!
1. Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back
This first rule seems straightforward, even simple: stand up straight. But there’s more to it than posture. Peterson uses this as a metaphor for how you carry yourself in life. When you stand up tall, you project confidence—not just to others, but to yourself. It’s a reminder to face challenges with courage. Confidence is key, even when you don’t have it all figured out.
Bottom Line: Carry yourself like you mean business, and you might start to believe it, too.
2. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
Imagine you’re responsible for taking care of someone important—a child, a friend, or even a pet. Most of us would go out of our way to give them the care they deserve. But when it comes to our own well-being, we often neglect what we need. This rule is a wake-up call to treat yourself with the same respect and compassion.
Bottom Line: You matter. Take care of yourself as if your well-being is in your hands—because it is.
3. Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You
Your social circle has a massive influence on who you are and who you’ll become. Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed, people who challenge and support you. Life is hard enough without toxic relationships dragging you down. This rule is about setting boundaries and choosing friends who lift you up.
Bottom Line: Real friends want to see you at your best. Stick with them.
4. Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not to Who Someone Else is Today
In a world where social media lets us peek into the (seemingly) perfect lives of others, it’s easy to feel inadequate. But Peterson encourages us to compete with ourselves, not with others. Are you a better version of yourself than you were last week, last year? That’s the only comparison that matters.
Bottom Line: Your growth is your own. Celebrate it, regardless of what others are doing.
5. Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them
This one might be surprising, but it’s profound for anyone raising kids. Peterson argues that by allowing poor behavior, parents set their children up for trouble later on. Children need boundaries, guidance, and consequences so they can grow into respectful and capable adults. This rule is a call to take parenting seriously.
Bottom Line: Loving your children means guiding them to be people you—and the world—can respect.
6. Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World
Peterson doesn’t mince words here: before you try to fix what’s wrong with the world, take a look in the mirror. Are there things you need to work on in your own life? This rule challenges us to take responsibility for our personal issues before tackling global problems.
Bottom Line: Focus on improving yourself first, and you’ll be better equipped to help others.
7. Pursue What is Meaningful (Not What is Expedient)
Life offers a lot of shortcuts, but Peterson warns against taking them. The path to meaningful goals—like building a career, a family, or a sense of purpose—takes time and sacrifice. In this rule, he encourages us to pursue things that are truly important, even when it’s hard.
Bottom Line: Short-term wins are tempting, but they rarely lead to long-term fulfillment.
8. Tell the Truth – or, at Least, Don’t Lie
Honesty is crucial, but sometimes brutal honesty isn’t realistic. So, Peterson suggests a middle ground: aim to tell the truth as much as possible, and if you can’t, avoid lies. Lies create a tangled web of confusion, distrust, and regret. Truth, on the other hand, brings clarity and builds strong foundations.
Bottom Line: Life’s complicated enough. Be truthful, even when it’s hard.
9. Assume That the Person You Are Listening to Might Know Something You Don’t
This rule is a reminder that everyone has something to teach us. By truly listening to others, we open ourselves to new ideas and insights. Even people with different views can help us see things in a new way, broaden our perspective, and challenge our assumptions.
Bottom Line: Approach conversations with curiosity, and you’ll learn something new.
10. Be Precise in Your Speech
Words have power, and vague language can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Peterson’s advice here is to say what you mean and be clear about your thoughts and intentions. Precise speech doesn’t just help others understand you—it can also help clarify your own thoughts.
Bottom Line: Clarity brings understanding. Use your words wisely.
11. Do Not Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding
This rule is a metaphor for allowing people, especially the young, to face challenges and take risks. Growth often comes from failure and from stepping outside our comfort zones. By overprotecting, we can prevent people from learning resilience.
Bottom Line: Let people take risks. It’s how they learn.
12. Pet a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street
This final rule might sound odd, but it’s a call to appreciate life’s small moments. Life is full of suffering and struggle, but beauty can often be found in simple things. By pausing to “pet the cat,” we find moments of peace amid chaos.
Bottom Line: Life is hard, but don’t forget to notice the small joys.
Final Thoughts: Putting the Rules into Practice
Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life isn’t a magic formula; it’s a toolkit. Some of these principles may resonate deeply, while others might challenge you. But they all offer a path toward personal responsibility, self-awareness, and resilience.
Think of these rules as stepping stones, helping you navigate life’s chaos. Not every day will be perfect, but with these guidelines, you can create a life filled with purpose, growth, and fulfillment. Now, go pet a cat—or, at least, take a moment to appreciate the simple things.